Sock and Carrot

It's very difficult to get a straight answer out of medical professionals


note bow tie = he knows what he's doing

or amateurs, keen to impart anecdotal evidence


well my Albert's cousin Ethel came over very queer for several months


about how long it is supposed to take before I can get my sock on again.

Although my hip's recovering OK, I still cannot reach my foot, despite Herculean efforts. I am still some way off reliving my professional days as a contortionist


Marjorie! Where the devil did I put my driving gloves?

At the moment my most prized possession (my foot) is just a dream. So close and yet so far


Smug git

So the upshot of this is that I am still subject to the daily humiliation of having the missus putting on my left sock, before she goes off to work.

Conversation usually goes something like this

"Can you reach your foot yet?"

"I couldn't yesterday could I ?"

"Well has it improved at all?"

"I don't think so"

"Are you trying?"

"What do you mean, am I trying ?"

"Are you making any progress ?"

"In what way ?"

"are you making any progress ??"



I instantly feel guilty, and so overreact. "Oh, what, so you think I just lie here all day watching cash in the attic and eating milk chocolate digestives do you?"

"You said that with rather too much conviction"

"Look, just put the damn sock on will you. I am trying. It's not easy. I've had a major operation you know"



"Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll put it over the toes and up to the heel. Can you reach that?"

I stretch. I wince.



I'm almost there.

"Oooh you're almost there. That's a good stretching exercise for the day. See you later"