Millionaire's Shortbread

It has been pointed out to me that Twix is just a poor man's millionaire's shortbread


I'm sorry. I'm far too rich and luxurious to have anything to do with the likes of you. Clear orf or I'll set the dogs on you


How dare you? I've got just as much right to be here as you. Look everyone! See the exploitation of the proletariat!!

I would concur. Sure, the basic constituents are the same but that is where the similarity ends. Your average millionaire's shortbread is far larger, and the layers of caramel usually much thicker. The shortbread is also of a better calibre. The experience is completely different. It is a luxury. It is delicious. A wonderful, rich and indulgent treat.

I absolutely love the stuff.

It is also a nightmare to eat, because the shortbread is not entirely enrobed by the chocolate, meaning you cannot help but get crumbs down your front, and then the missus comes in, and you try to cram it all in your mouth before she sees what you are eating, but the crumbs give it away and she looks accusingly at you and says, "do you really think it's a good idea to eat that stuff right now? You know damn well we are about to go out to dinner" and you say "well if you think that pile of slop that we'll be given by a couple of pasty faced VEGANS is dinner then you're as mad as a shithouse rat" and she says "you've never liked Jasper & Poppy even though they are my oldest friends!" and then storms off in tears and I don't really know what to do so now I'm looking forward to a night of boiled courgettes AND a sulky missus.

And it's all the fault of that bastard millionaire's shortbread. I HATE the stuff