It's Friday night. You're in the local Indian for an agreeable dinner with friends. Not that full. You get drinks and papadums relatively quickly. They take your order.
And you wait.
And wait.
And wait a bit more.
Excuse me, is our food nearly ready?
Any second now, Sir
Every 5 minutes the kitchen door opens and another brown bag is reverentially rushed out of the place, onto the back of a scooter and whisked away as if it's a freshly harvested heart on the way to a waiting team of transplant surgeons.
We're losing him doctor
Quick! 2 units of tikka masala sauce
WHAT ABOUT US? We're right here! In front of you! Err...HELLOOOO.
Of course the reason real live customers in the restaurant take such low priority is because these fecking online sites all guarantee your Lamb Tikka Achari within twelve nanoseconds or it's free. No such guarantee required for warm bodies in front of them.
Anyway, enough is enough.
So last night, we're in the restaurant, and it's the usual routine. Drinks, papadums, order given, wait, wait, live organ trade very brisk, and the missus has had enough.
What does she do? Tentatively put her hand up and ask politely if our food will be much longer? Not a bit of it.
She gets her phone and rings them up. I can hear both sides of the conversation because the waiter answering is about 5 yards away.
"Hello Wedontcare Tandoori how can I help you?"
"Yes I got your number from Hungry House and would like to order a takeaway please"
"Certainly madam, we can deliver that to you right away."
"How long will it take?"
"Guaranteed delivery in 15 minutes or it's free"
"Fantastic"
"Can I have your address please?"
"Yes, we're sitting in the Wedontcare Tandoori 5 yards away from your head AND WE'D LIKE OUR SUPPER"
5 minutes later it's on the table.
We may now both be retired, but we had a round of Judge Spanker and the Naughty Juror that night I can tell you
No comments:
Post a Comment