Supercar

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,  it is with great pleasure to me, the missus, but mostly to our long suffering friends that I would like to announce the eminent demise of our car.

It is one of these:


The world's dullest car

Vintage 1994 I think. Unfortunately, it is not waterproof, Over the years, efforts to locate and repair leaks in the chassis have proved less than successful, so that recently the interior resembles this.


Where to Guv?

OK slight exaggeration, but only slight.

The sunroof won't open because it has a luxuriant growth of moss all round the edge.

The upholstery is a lovely shade of moss green. That's not the colour; that's moss again.

The seat itself has to be covered in black bags to protect any passengers from developing damp patches.

After a rain shower, there is usually about 4 inches of water on the floor, and we have to bail out with a large mug now permanently kept in the car.


Think we'll need the black bags today

Any passenger travelling in the back is liable to suffer from Trench Foot.

I swear I spotted a Macaw sitting amongst the undergrowth the other day.

So it's going at the end of the year, to be replaced with these



and these


but mostly these


although I am hoping to avoid the worst of the dogshit