Crabs II: The Legend of Snooks Lane

So anyway, as I was saying, I got a conspiratorial whisper as to where I could buy the Crabs at the source.

Follow the road to Snooks Lane and carry on monsieur. Why I am telling you I do not know, as it cannot possibly profit me...

So feeling like Indiana Jones, off we went  late one afternoon, me, the missus and the mother in law. Over the bridge, past the railway terminal, searching for Snooks Lane and the fabled Crab Factory.

Snooks Lane you say? I beg you Sahib, turn back while you still can...

The pavement petered out, the lane got narrower, and the hill steeper. Me and the missus were OK, but my mother in law is not used to the wildness and lawlessness of the countryside. She left Cardiff when she was a teenager, and has lived in Central London ever since, where cars know their place, there are plenty of pedestrian crossings, traffic lights, and wide, even pavements. Having to hold on to my tottering 86 year old mother-in-law as she staggered up a bending lane with no pavement, ditches both sides, and maniacs coming round blind corners at unhealthy speeds reminded me once again, why I hate the countryside.

It was only the thought of finding Crab Eldorado, egged on the thought of getting one over on the Crab Ladies on the Quay that kept us going. Or rather kept me going. The other members of my party were rapidly losing interest.


After about ten days of hard trekking (OK, ten minutes) we came across

and then



Finally, finally, by the dying light of a late summer's evening, almost when all hope was lost and the M-I-L was down to the last of her Mint Imperials, did we eventually arrive at the fabled Lost City of S & J Seafoods of Snooks Lane



Yes. It's not exactly Shangri-La is it?

We lurched gratefully into the yard and threw ourselves on the mercy of the bunch of crabby old women in the back of the shop, as they were picking through a veritable mountain of crab parts


I engaged one of them in conversation whilst buying a hen crab (more dark meat).

"I heard from a reliable source that you supply the crab stall on Lymingtom Quay?"

"No, we don't. They have their own fisherman. We just supply local bars and restaurants. That'll be £6.50."

That cost me another bag of Mint Imperials.