Date Tongs

As part of my healthy living regime, I eat muesli for breakfast a few times a week. I am not a natural muesli eater. This is more my style



Your usual muesli milord?
Bollocks to that Carson. I'll have double beans and black pudding, fried slice and a pickled egg


However, I am told by my doctors that the occasional bowl of muesli is good for my moral wellbeing. No added salt. No added sugar. So be it.


Having sampled the various alternatives on sale, and found many taste like this





I have finally settled on



which is OK once in a while EXCEPT it's got filthy little squares of disgustingly mushy, mushed up bits of dates mixed in.



Hello. I am a huge block of date paste. I can often be found in muesli, although I have no place in the human food chain. I am only there to keep the customers on their toes as they spend half an hour each morning picking through the muesli detritus to ferret out every last ghastly bit of me.


So every morning I can be found with my head in a bowl of muesli carefully sifting it through my fingers trying to  indentify all the lumps of date mush.


Until a few days ago, when my missus presented me with a pair of Date Tongs

Date Tongs


I can now be found of a morning daintily picking through my muesli and removing the offending articles. To date, I have collected quite a bit

...and that's just a month's worth...