I've had a strange shadow in my right eye after whacking myself on the bonce,
Doc, I've had this persistent slight headache
so thought I'd better get it checked out.
I'm in the chair, The lights are off. He's got this pokey thing with a light at the end, and he's slowly coming closer and closer to my left eye.
He's very mild mannered. "Now just relax", he breathes
I say shouldn't that be sterilized?
He’s about two inches away. I'm getting slightly nervous so I try to make light conversation.
"I'm...er...I'm off to see the football tomorrow. Do you like football?"
"Oh yes," he sighs. He's now about half an inch away, and he's got my top eyelid between his fingers. "Hmmm, yes been a big fan all my life."
I try to shrink back into the chair. "Yes, well, big Arsenal fan me."
He stiffens slightly. He has now got my top and bottom eyelids held right back, and he leans in, I try to shrink back further, but his grip is steely.
“Er..yes. Arsenal season ticket holder”
“Interesting. I myself am a Spurs season ticket holder.”
Is it safe?
And my balls shrink to the size of raisins
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