Hurricane Bertha...

...My Arse. Supposed to be the "tailend" of Hurricane Bertha a couple of weeks ago, remember? Supposed to be a bit windy.

Man Alive. That was the day, while on hols, we visited Stonehenge. I'm surprised the stones were still standing.

In fact, they looked like a few had been blown over



Honest, they were like this when I found them...

Then on to the site of the Woodhenge for a picnic



5000 year old picnic tables

We parked up and found a slightly newer picnic table



and despite the force 10 gale and slight drizzle




not to mention the annoying wasps and other wildlife


Quick! Hide the mini Melton Mowbury pork pies!!

we were determined to have our picnic outside, despite horrified looks from passing motorists.


What in God's name are those poor devils doing number 1?
They...they're setting up a picnic sir!!

Opened a packet of crisps, and the first few got whipped away by the gale, so had to virtually put my mouth over the packet and suck.

Stupidly, the missus, in a completely misguided attempt at civility


....here Mimi, fancy one of my pickled walnuts?

tried to lay out some sort of semblance of a selection of picnic items. The mini pork pies not too bad. They just shuffled across the plate, but the picnic eggs took off as soon as released from the packet, rolling and bouncing across the table, where they were carried off by the wind and sailed away


What the hell's that, Benson?
It's another picnic egg, sir

We were able to get a bit of food down by kneeling at the edge of the table with our mouths open, and collecting items as they passed by.

Final challenge: CUP OF TEA.

Three of us formed a tight circle, with our backs to the gale. One held the picnic cup, another gripped the thermos of hot water, and a third held down the teabag in the cup with a spoon.

"Okay team, all ready?"
"READY!!"
"Release the water!!"
"Steady...steady...OK, now stir...and: REMOVE TEABAG!"
"I..I..don't think I can get hold of it..."
"Come on lad, just remember you're English. Think of Agincourt..."
"GOT IT!"
"Well done! See? Just like they taught you in training. Now, who's got the milk?"
"Oh bollocks, let's just go to a cafe."



Fuck me, them picnic eggs don't half repeat on you