The Inescapable Conclusion

Yesterday, found myself at home in the afternoon. Attempted to watch the TV.

I lasted 10 minutes until the adverts, which were, in no particular order

Advert for a stairlift

This should be INSIDE, you twat


Advert for a denture fixative

Oh for God's sake Graham: you need a tooth pulled, go to the dentist like normal people


Advert for a home delivery meal service

OK who's next?
Mrs Abercrombie: one Chicken Chasseur with mash & gravy


and an advert for a funeral savings plan

This is great!  Paying in easy monthly instalments gives me complete peace of mind!!!


I came to the swift and inevitable conclusion that the majority of television watchers in the afternoon must be toothless, immovable, inedible, funeral fodder, whereas I was always led to believe that the majority of PM TV watchers were lazy unemployed oiks sitting in their urine-soaked underwear, drinking MacEwans Export and sucking at the remains of yesterdays Donor Kebab still stuck to the sofa.


Not another fecking Vet programme

So despite my best efforts and early optimism, it seems that doing nothing in retirement is practically impossible.

That's a good thing, right?