That Leader's Debate in Full

Less borrowing for a stronger economy. And by the way, did you notice how I had a few hairs out of place in my parting to show that it’s not about personal appearance, it’s about the policies

Whoa there Dave.  A little more borrowing for a stronger economy. Damn it. I forgot to lean slightly on the podium for that endearing, relaxed, effect.

You two are crazy. A little more borrowing than you two for a stronger economy. And personally, I don’t go with the hair out of place look. I think the british public, who I absolutely respect, even though they smell and are thick as pigshit, would see straight through that.”

You are all crazy.  The solution is clearly more borrowing than you guys for a stronger economy. And did you notice how I nicked the Clegg look and leaned on the podium slightly to the left giving me a relaxed look. This is because I feel pretty damn relaxed. I can’t possibly lose. I shall try to knock chunks out of Miliband to look like I’m independent and standing up for Scotland. That way everyone will vote for us, we’ll get 50+ seats, and then we can prop up a Labour government and Wallace will give us everything we want. BOOM!!!

Er...basically, what she said and give Wales more money

Hey guys, you need to think out of the box. We should borrow as much as we like. Money doesn’t matter: the planet does. Where’s everybody gone?

Sorry Natalie. No one cares about the planet anymore. There’s a recession on you know.

Well, as I always predicted, they’re all the same. Just politicians doing the Westminster thing. Bloody politicians. Look, what you see with me is what you get. I’m just an ordinary bloke, and as an ordinary bloke, I can see the wood from the trees. All this great country of ours needs is to pull up the drawbridge and get back to the fifties when homosexuals could be chemically castrated and the coons kept in their place.

Personally, I was torn between Masterchef and the Leaders Debate but in the end I decided to combine them and masturbate instead.