Pock Marked Old Woman and Bad Jews

Had my exam on Monday morning after a heavy week of intense revision, and as a treat, my missus took me to see Bad Jews at the Arts Theatre


What they all said

Which was excruciatingly, uncomfortably funny and almost unbelievably rude - and that was just the audience:

From the row behind us, we got a running commentary in a loud whisper:

WHAT DID SHE SAY??
I'M NOT REPEATING EVERYTHING. JUST WATCH THE HAND MOVEMENTS AND IMAGINE WE'RE AT UNCLE  ABE'S .

Thoroughly recommended.

But before the show we went to The Baozi Inn just across the street in Chinatown


I might look cute, but I have the most uncomfortable seats you will ever sit on

OK, we were only going in for a quick pre-theatre meal, but the seats consisted of a narrow, rock-hard plank on two legs. It would have been more comfortable sitting on a spike.

This was a sichuan cafe/restaurant, with unusually for chinatown, waiters that weren't completely rude, The menu was refreshingly literal: we had ma po beancurd, which was of course given the literal translation of "pock-marked old woman's beancurd"


I know I sound horrible, but I am delicious and blisteringly hot

It came covered in Sichuan pepper, which, if you have never tried it, tends to numb your tongue, lips, and anything else it touches.

We also had black fungus salad, and seaweed slime in garlic.

Absolutely scrummy, and the bill was hurled at us after 15 minutes without us even asking. I tell you, these chinese could teach the jews a thing or two.