Coolest Job Title in the Universe

Forget international playboy, tennis star, rock star, deep sea diver, train driver, Ming the Merciless, or Emperor of the Universe, this is the job for me.

This is what I want to be when I grow up.

This is what I want on my passport under profession, so that when the immigration official reads it, the blood drains from his face, he backs away in horror, averts his gaze, and waves me through with one shaky hand, as the other one clutches at his throat as he tries to get a rasping breath.


Your Uncle Simsqu is coming to visit. Won't that be nice?

This makes the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang sound like Mother Teresa

Anyway.

My M-I-L had a triple bypass operation (all good now), and a few weeks before the operation she went into the Hospital to meet the various professions involved, as they explained to her the procedures and what was going to happen etc.

I'm afraid we've run out of trolleys...

She met the surgeon, theatre nurse, intensive care nurse, anaethsetist, and had a very informative day. At about 2,00pm, she had just one more visitor to see. As she sat there, in came a lady in a white coat (should have been a long black cloak with a red satin lining I think), and said these words that turned my M I L's blood to ice:

"Hello, I'm The Vein Harvester"


Now this won't hurt a bit...