Why'dya do it?

To Kiss the Sky in Crouch End yesterday evening


I don't look a lot better inside, but I do good cocktails, and they're cheap

for Mojitos with the missus, who meets me from work (hers not mine). Very nice, relaxing start to Friday evening.

Then onto The Belash

I look like something from the 70's because I AM something from the 70's, and what's more, I've still got the same crockery, tables, cutlery, glassware and decor.

Great little place: haven't been here for decades. I don't think anything has changed.

I look at the menu: My heart skips a beat: they do a PHALL!!!

The phall is a ridiculously hot concoction that I think was probably invented for the uber-macho lager drinking boys night out crowd in Birmingham. I suspect it is as authentically Indian as Egg & Chips. I have not seen it on an indian menu for at least thirty years, but as this menu looked like it was forty years old (here it is, half of it anyway), it's probably the only menu left in the UK with Phall still on it. (so that's what that huge orange stain was)


Here's a picture of a chicken phall

Touch me if you dare

and here's a picture of the chef preparing it




...and can I recommend a side order of Andrex with that..?

So of course I went for it.

It is now the next day, and for the last half hour I have been sitting on the toilet with an ice-cold pack of moist wetwipes clutched in my shaking hand, listening to rainforest music.

Oh...Oh God. Not again


You will have to excuse me