Sunday 4 January 2015

New Year Resolutions

Usually, I only have one New Year Resolution, and that is to have no New Year Resolutions.

But I am now a relatively free man with potential time on my hands


Do you think anyone would notice if I slipped off to the New Year sale at Primark?

So I have given it some thought and come up with a few ideas that others would do well to emulate

1) NEVER GO TO IKEA AGAIN

Where did you get all this tat from?
Ikea's kitchen department. 

2) GIVE UP PROCESSED FOODS
I never eat processed foods anyway, so this will not be too bad a chore. The only processed foods I eat are tinned tomatoes. The very occasional sausage. And black pudding of course, I LOVE black pudding. I have also been known to nibble on a tesco value shepherds pie. OK I need to take this seriously.

Picture of me after that third cornish pasty

3) TAKE UP A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT

Maybe something smaller


It's the last one in the sale sir.
I'll take it!!

4) WORK ON MY NOVEL
I am hoping to have it finished by late spring. I am an incredibly slow reader



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