That EU-Greek Summit in full

EU Thank you Mr Tsipras for your bailout proposals. On the face of it, these proposals look even more draconian than the proposals we put to you a couple of weeks ago.

Tsipras ...and we totally rejected your proposals

EU …and then we withdrew them

Tsipras…and then we voted on the withdrawn proposals in a referendum and rejected them

EU… and now you are proposing to us these same withdrawn rejected proposals, only making them even tougher on yourselves?

Tsipras exactly. That'll show you

EU But..will you get these through your parliament?

Tsipras Oh sure. They don't know what the hell's going on. And neither do I.

EU Well, look, fine, whatever. We will accept your new tougher old rejected withdrawn proposals to us which were ours in the first place.

Here's that redraft you wanted Mr Tsipras

Tsipras Get IN!! Victory for the little people over the EU apprarachiks!! Well, I must be off…

Mr Tsipras shrugs on his jacket and strolls towards the door

 EU Mr Tsipras, Mr Tsipras, aren’t you forgetting something?

Mr Tsipras gazes around at the ceiling Ummm…nnnnno I don’t think so…

EU The debt

Mr Tsipras affects surprise The…debt.? Ummmm...he clicks his fingers  debt...debt...OH! you mean THAT debt??

EU

Tsipras What? What about it? (incredulously) You don't actually want it back, do you?

EU

Mr Tsipras sighs loudly. Well, I wish you had made that clear at the time. How much?

EU

Tsipras What, ALL of it?

EU We did lend it to you in the first place you know

Tsipras Well more fool you. So you admit it was your fault eh?

EU getting exhasperated Look Mr Tsipras, how can we put it? WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK!!

Tsipras You mean Angela wants her money back

EU Same thing

Tsipras (walking around and waving his arms in a conciliatory gesture OK, OK, look, I’VE done some stupid things…YOU'VE done some stupid things…I suggest we let bygones be bygones. I tell you what, I'm a reasonable man,

and I wouldn't make this offer to just anyone. Seriously, they're gonna KILL me back home (laughs nervously). So here's what I'll do, and it's only because I kinda like you guys, I’ll split the difference. I’ll give you 50%. No, no, don't thank me. It's the least I can do, so waddya...

EU No

Tsipras Jeez. OK, 70%

EU No

Tsipras Hey hey hey...er... look. I mean, Jeez, I thought this was a negotiation? What’s with all the smiles on the steps outside a few minutes ago, eh?

Ha Ha! OK let go now. Seriously, that really hurts

What’s a few billion between friends. Partners. We are  partners aren’t we? I seem to recall you wanted us to join in the first place. Am I wrong? Hmmm? 

EU

Tsipras Oh by the way, thought you might like to see this holiday piccie I took recently

Come on  Vlad, give us a smile
I AM smiling

EU (sighs heavily We will agree, reluctantly, to reschedule the other 30%

Tsipras Attaboy. How long will you give us?

EU Not long

Tspiras Can I make a suggestion?

EU Knock yourself out

Tspiras How about we’ll pay it back when the sun runs out of hydrogen and starts burning it’s helium core?

EU WHaat the…now just hold...How…what...You’re not…slumps down Fine. Whatever. Now get the hell out of here.

Tsipras Missing you already. Oh just one more thing.

EU

WHAT??

Tspiras You know that 3.5 billion Euros I owe you guys that’s due next week?

EU Yeeesss…..

Tsipras You couldn’t see your way to lending it to us  so we can pay you back, could you? Just till the tax receipts start pouring in. Shouldn't take long...

EU  GET OUT!!!!!

Tsipras – scuttling away OK, OK. Jeez, what a grouch.