Phase II

I retired about 18 months ago and true to myself, I have bumbled about and not done much. Haven't earned very much,

Excuse me mate: Big Issue?

I've done a bit of volunteering,

Well I guess that will teach me not to volunteer for experimental laser eye surgery

walked around a bit,

...I'm sure he said turn left at Lidl...

 seen a few shows

- Isn't Strindberg simply wonderful?
- Oh he is: I do love an iconoclast

and generally felt at a loose end. However, I have fallen into a vague routine that I rather like. I suspect that is about to change, as retirement enters Phase II. In seven days time, the missus also retires.

On Sunday morning, the reality of the situation suddenly hit me, and the conversation went like this.

Me: I expect you will like to take things fairly slowly after next week? Do you need any relaxation pointers?

Her: Oh I shan't have time to relax! I'm going to spend the rest of the summer clearing out my study - plenty of trips to the Charity Shop - and then all rooms need decorating. The garden needs a complete overhaul...

Me:  Oh, OK, Well if you need any help, I can recommend Help the Aged ha ha...

I get The Look

Her Yes. I think we'll start the decorating in your study...


Please leave me alone